Actual Spam!
Subject: If you think these won't make her happy, your dumb!
Date: Wed, 6 Oct 2004
Nothing sells me faster than poor spelling and the promise of a monster cock. Throw some fairy tale references into the mix and...well, let's just say I'm gonna be living poor for the next few months. I'd intended to have the new site published before I posted again, but I received this spam this morning, and it demanded immediate attention. This will, in fact, be my last post on this version of timothyx.com. The new site is almost done and my first post will be a long ass explanation of the last five months. Not that I have any readers left at this point, but hey.
posted by timothy on Thursday, October 07, 2004
Fucking rednecks. This will probably be my last post for a week or so. Now that work has calmed down enough to allow me some free time, I'm going to concentrate on making some long overdue changes to the site. If you're not on my spam list, and you'd like me to send you an email when things are active here again, please send an email to timothyx@linkline.com, with a subject line of "Subscribe."
posted by timothy on Tuesday, May 04, 2004
This is absolutely fucking priceless.
posted by timothy on Saturday, April 24, 2004
I just realized it's been almost two full weeks since I've posted anything new. But on the other hand, I've gained a truly intimate knowledge of Verizon and SBC billing practices, so that's good. I've been thinking lately, that it's time to make some changes to the blog, but I'm not quite sure what exactly I want to do. Other than redecorate everything in salmon and mauve.
posted by timothy on Saturday, April 24, 2004
I knew it.
posted by timothy on Monday, April 12, 2004
I got this really great e-mail from my friend Julie the other day and I thought I'd share it: Over night the world has transformed!
Really!
Time changed and I'm sitting at my computer infront of the window! Yes, that is amazing but what is really amazing is this:
It's still light.
It didn't rain today.
I didn't see any clouds in the sky today!
I got off work and sat in the park and wrote in my journal!
I wasn't cold!
On my walk to the park 5 joggers almost ran me off the sidewalk/pavement!
The birds were chirping!
It is light enough that I can actually tell how pasty white people are!
I'm listening to Ben Harper right now and hoping to go to his concert in London in June!
I'm not working tonight.
I'm going to start packing for NYC,Claremont and Las Vegas.
I'll be on vacation/holiday for a month. woohoo!
So what's going on in my life. The English people are becoming quite normal to me. The English people I encounter are crazy. I'm telling you, not a single day goes by that I'm not reminded by someone that I'm not English... I'm told that I don't speak English- I speak American, OK. So what part of America? Am I speaking Spanish? Or am I Canadian. By golly, no, America is only the US. Clearly I'm confused. I'm told all types of odd things like, "I want to go to America, all the men are fit(meaning good looking, not they work out) and decent." Right. Better yet, English people don't like Americans. Now I've never been told this to my face by any English person I encounter, but who knows, maybe they are just too polite to tell me. I would rather think that it is untrue or the English people who meet me just like me 'cause I'm cool. I think they are too polite.
I'm continuously surprised by the popular choice of TV/tele programs. It's soap opera heaven. I feel like the general population is just as complacent as in the US. It's rather sad when you consider that the news in England shows what I would consider a more accurate picture of what is really going on in the world. But I guess well rounded news doesn't inspire people to be socially active. I think what it does is make people depressed and more interested in what is going on in East Enders (a tele drama/ soap opera.).
I haven't figured out the solution to all the injustices in the world. I'm working on it. I'm trying to organize the people I work with and "suggest" they join a union (they are being abused something terrible). I'm trying to increase awareness and promote feminism. It hasn't worked yet. But I am inspired by a birthday card I received! This is what it said, "The best part of life is not just surviving, but thriving- with passion and compassion, and humor and style, and generosity and kindness. -Maya Angelou." I think this is what I need to remind myself of everyday.
I guess I should move from my chair and try to live the best part of life. I hope you are well. I hope with some extra day light you are able to do more
than just let each day pass you by.
Thank you for all of your love and support.
Love,
Julie
posted by timothy on Monday, April 12, 2004
Swiped from the LA Times: April 9, 2004
Steve Lopez:
Points West
All's Well in Iraq -- Just Ask the Dead
IRAQ WAR 2003
CALIFORNIA
Everything's OK.
Honest.
Shell-shocked wives of soldiers are racing home from Oceanside beauty salons to see if their husbands are among the latest casualties in Iraq. But there's nothing to worry about.
The Shiite uprising appears to be throwing the entire country into bloody chaos, and weary American soldiers are being ordered to extend their tours of duty. But you have some good moments and some less good moments in these kinds of enterprises, as Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld said.
If things were spinning out of control, would President Bush be on Easter holiday at the ranch in Texas, where he was visited Thursday by members of the National Rifle Assn., Ducks Unlimited and Pheasants Forever?
Twelve Camp Pendleton Marines have been killed in the last week, most of them in one horrific battle Tuesday. But there's no "major combat" in Iraq, the president's flack assured us even as several cities were under fire and up for grabs. It's just that a "relatively small number of extremist elements" are being pesky little insurgents.
Can you really even call it a war?
In a war, you honor the dead by greeting their return to American soil. But media, and sometimes even family members, are still banned from air bases as the bodies arrive. The White House doesn't want us to get the crazy idea that Operation Iraqi Freedom has gravediggers working overtime.
Last month, Rep. Charles Rangel (D-N.Y.) called for an end to the ban during an antiwar vigil at the air base in Dover, Del. The rally was held by families of American soldiers, and Jane Bright was there. The San Fernando Valley woman's son, Sgt. Evan Ashcraft, was killed in Iraq last July. He was 24.
"I believe we have to turn over our solitary control of Iraq, get the U.N. and peacekeeping forces in there, and begin to remove the American footprint on this," Bright says.
But she's well aware of the degree of difficulty, given the U.S. alienation of allies and what she sees as an American quest to control Middle Eastern oil supplies, regardless of how many lives it costs.
She fears, in fact, that things will get much worse before they get better.
"My husband happened to say to Congressman Rangel, 'We're worried about the draft being reinstated, because I have an 18-year-old.' And Rangel said, 'The draft has already started. They're drafting reservists now. They're drafting grandfathers.' "
Reinstating the draft is an interesting idea. If national leaders are able to downplay the risk and tell us everything is proceeding just swimmingly, could it be because their loved ones aren't picking sand out of their ears and dodging rocket-propelled grenades?
The president's daughters are safe, just like Daddy was during the war of his era. (Bush and Vice President Cheney both managed to avoid any whiff of battle back in their day). And only a handful of congressional representatives have had any family member in harm's way in Iraq.
Sure, it's a volunteer army. But many who sign up do so because they aren't exactly blessed with myriad options. And soldiers serve under the assumption they are not risking their lives on the basis of hyped threats, goosed intelligence and hidden agendas.
Go to CNN.com, Bright suggested, and look at the price of all that deception.
I clicked a few times and there it was — the roll call of fallen soldiers. The list goes on and on and on — 644 American soldiers killed in the first year of a bloody campaign whose end is nowhere in sight.
You hit the "Next" button again and again, and the soldiers keep marching onto your screen. Pages and pages and pages of them. There's a small photo of each, along with hometown, age, and when and where they died.
Some are smiling. Some sport a combat pose. Some look like kids.
Among the dead, 129 were 22 or younger, and going through the list, you spot a lot of 18-year-olds.
An additional 3,000 American soldiers have been injured in the war, many of them permanently disabled.
Estimates on the number of Iraqi civilians killed in the war run well into the thousands.
All Rumsfeld said was that you have good moments and less good.
He didn't say which there'd be more of.
Not that I'm keeping track, but there were no weapons of mass destruction, the deadly ethnic sparring was easily predictable, we're in trouble whether we stay or go, the Israeli-Palestinian conflict is more combustible than ever, and there's no telling how many new terrorists have been spawned.
No, it isn't Vietnam. It's much more dangerous than that.
But that's the cynical view.
The good news is that President Bush is resting up at the Everything's OK Corral, and Condoleezza Rice assured the Sept. 11 commission that her boss "never pushed anybody to twist the facts" and create a link between Iraq and the hijacking of American airliners.
Honest.
U.S. commanders are scrambling to determine whether they need more troops to quell the bloody uprisings, but that's probably because they didn't get the White House memo assuring everyone there's no "major combat" and nothing to worry about.
Quagmire?
What quagmire?
posted by timothy on Monday, April 12, 2004
Aaron sent this to me. The link is http://www.villagevoice.com/issues/0414/collins.php but it's too good not to swipe in it's entirety: Note to Terry Gilliam: Call your producers.
The story behind The Air Loom Gang is the stuff of Fisher Kings and windmill-tilters: Regency-era steam contraptions, mind control, government intrigue, and a creative genius driven mad by paranoid hallucinations.
A young London tea merchant and bit player in diplomacy during the French Revolution, James Tilly Matthews was rotting in a French dungeon when he heard (or thought he heard) this fateful question from a fellow prisoner: "Mr. Matthews, are you acquainted with the art of talking with your brains?" Soon a disheveled Matthews, back in England, was getting wrestled down from the Parliament visitor's gallery, screaming "TREASON!" at bewildered MPs.
Tossed into Bedlam asylum, he unveiled a vast international conspiracy to staff apothecary John Haslam. A cabal was operating a steam-powered mesmeric mind-control machine under Parliament, Matthews confided—an "air loom," fueled by a brew of dog piss, horse droppings, and human semen—and turning the MPs above into drones. The prime minister was a "pneumatic puppet," and anyone defying the cabal risked "lobster-cracking," wherein a magnetic field pressed upon their bodies until they shattered. Haslam's 1810 account of these visions, Illustrations of Madness (wonderfully illuminated by Matthews's own diagrams) comprises the first recognizable case history of paranoid schizophrenia. Haslam even made the almost unprecedented assertion that his inmate's delusions were organic in origin, occurring from physical disruptions in brain tissue.
Matthews certainly was mad. But was he bad? Doctors argued for decades whether his case warranted continued confinement; government officials maneuvered to shush a man whom some considered a spy gone bonkers. Meanwhile, Matthews became legendary among London's intelligentsia: He founded a brilliant architecture magazine, and even submitted a startlingly progressive plan to an architectural competition to replace Bedlam. As author Mike Jay notes, "These are, probably for the first time ever, designs by a lunatic for a lunatic asylum."
Jay deftly places Matthews into the context of a tumultuous era. His madness was a cracked mirror, reflecting crazed shards of mesmerism, galvanism, steam engines, and revolutionary intrigue. But his dilemma remains timeless. As a Bedlamite muttered in 1684: "They called me mad, and I called them mad, and damn them, they outvoted me."
posted by timothy on Wednesday, April 07, 2004
Howard just sent me this little anecdote: Orange County is full of raging anti-Semites. It's Passover. I worked. I know I shouldn't work on Pesach but a man's gotta make his matzo, if you hear what I'm saying. In the Passover service there's a moment when you dip your finger into your wine and remove ten drops from the glass. Ten plagues, ten drops. This is to show how freakin' sorry we are, as the Chosen People, to have had to go to town on the Egyptians. So, tonight I decided to start my own tradition. After setting their drink in front of the customer I took ten drops out of it with my finger. Jesus Christ and Moses in the Sinai! You would have thought I kicked their mother or something. They went double-nazi ape shit. Man, they are so anti-Semitic. The God of Abraham's gonna do some damage here.
posted by timothy on Tuesday, April 06, 2004
Phillip and I having a work related discussion: Tim (4:55:09 PM): have you ever noticed that on the days that you have email from REALLY stupid motherfuckers, you always seem to have fucking 20 emails from REALLY stupid motherfuckers?
Tim (4:55:15 PM): why is it never just one or two
Phillip (4:55:22 PM): hahaha
Tim (4:55:25 PM): it's like days go by with just normal requests
Tim (4:55:38 PM): then you get hit by a tardnado
Phillip (4:55:41 PM): stupidity is contagious
Phillip (4:55:48 PM): haha tardnado
Phillip (4:55:50 PM): that's classic
Tim (4:55:53 PM): thanks, just made it up
Tim (4:56:02 PM): i should probably blog it so i get credit somewhere down the road
posted by timothy on Tuesday, March 23, 2004
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