Fucking WOW! Blame Phillip.
posted by timothy on Monday, April 28, 2003

This is the single best piece of spam mail I've ever received. I very much hope to meet this Sophie person someday:

From: Sophie
Subject: Dreams or Träumereien

It is me, Sophie,I like romantic,
while I´m thinking about my text
these lines keep falling in my head.
Maybe your dream is just the same like mine
Liquors rising throug my veins , oh yeah man,
is it similiar with you man??
Your cock is screaming and fucking dreamings
are spinning wheels beyond your knees right to your feet???
Oh let it be orgiastic, just somehow super and more more fantastic
to fuck in a fury without any hurry.
Come in, have me lively and live just for a strive !..

Ich bin Sophie und mag`s gern romantisch!
Während ich über diesem Text sinniere,
fallen mir folgende Zeilen ein.
Vielleicht animieren sie Dich zu gemeinsamen Träumereien mit mir??!
"Eben steigen Säfte an, jedenfalls bei mir, oh Mann!
Und da denke ich bei mir, geht es Dir g`rad so wie mir??
Meldet Deine Wurzel sich, mag gern ficken, so wie ich??!!
Deiner Triebe süsser Spross, macht sich stark für meinen Schoss!!
Ach, es wär ein Hochgenuss, geil und heftig mal zu ficken,
den Schwanz, die Möse zu beglücken....!!"
Schau rein, Du wirst von und mit mir -- live-- begeistert sein

posted by timothy on Sunday, April 27, 2003

This is an old story from The Sun. God bless that rag for reporting the goatfucking activities in the U.K.
posted by timothy on Sunday, April 27, 2003

<- Two old buddies at play in a simpler time.
posted by timothy on Saturday, April 26, 2003

Not too long ago, I had a chat with an employee of mine. I was explaining the Nell-like mystery talk of sales people:

TimothyX: sales people are interesting in that they don't think like other humans
Employee: hahaha
TimothyX: they don't make anything
TimothyX: they don't ship anything
TimothyX: they don't repair anything
TimothyX: they don't even clean anything
Employee: and they don’t make sense
TimothyX: and so they're left with an interesting dilemma
TimothyX: they have to define what it is they do and then justify it to themselves and the world around them
TimothyX: in recent years they've come to call what they do as providing "value-added services"
TimothyX: this is a big freakin lie
TimothyX: they don't actually do crap other than process paper
Employee: hahaha
TimothyX: but they start thinking along these lines and they develop their own dialogue and jargon
TimothyX: and just like their jobs, it doesn't mean anything
TimothyX: so when a trained bullshit artist/salesman says he wants you to "spearhead" something
TimothyX: what he's really saying is he likes you or approves of you in some way and wants to reward you with a meaningless description for a non-existent task
Employee: hey that’s what I thought
TimothyX: he may as well tell you that you're the commandant of fluffiness and snuggling
Employee: hahaha true

posted by timothy on Saturday, April 26, 2003

LifeGems. They're just fucking wrong.
posted by timothy on Saturday, April 26, 2003

This is one of the hippies shot with a rubber bullet by Oakland Police this week.
posted by timothy on Wednesday, April 09, 2003

This is a really upsetting article I just read, that I've decided to steal and post here in it's entirety rather than have a broken link to it a week or so down the line:

Washington -- Congressional Republicans, working with the Bush administration, are maneuvering to make permanent the sweeping anti-terrorism powers granted to federal law enforcement agents after the attacks of Sept. 11, 2001, officials said Tuesday.

The move is likely to touch off strong objections from many Democrats and even some Republicans in Congress who believe that the Patriot Act, as the legislation that grew out of the attacks is known, has already given the government too much power to spy on Americans.

The landmark legislation expanded the government's power to use eavesdropping, surveillance, access to financial and computer records and other tools to track terrorist suspects. When it passed in October 2001, moderates and civil libertarians in Congress agreed to support it only by making many critical provisions temporary. Those provisions will expire, or "sunset," at the end of 2005 unless Congress reauthorizes them.

But Republicans in the Senate in recent days have discussed a proposal, authored by Sen. Orrin Hatch, R-Utah, that would repeal the so-called sunset provisions and make the expanded powers permanent, officials said. Republicans may seek to move on the proposal this week by trying to attach it to another anti-terrorism bill that would make it easier for the government to use secret surveillance warrants against "lone wolf" terrorism suspects.

Many Democrats have grown increasingly frustrated by what they see as a lack of information from the Justice Department on how its agents are using their newfound powers. The Senate Democratic leader, Tom Daschle of South Dakota, said Tuesday that without extensive review, he "would be very strongly opposed to any repeal" of the 2005 time limit. He predicted that Republicans did not have the votes to repeal the limits.

A senior Justice Department official on Tuesday said the Patriot Act has allowed the FBI to move faster and more flexibly to disrupt terrorists before they strike. "We don't want that to expire on us," the official said.

With the act's provisions not set to expire for more than 2 1/2 years, officials expected that the debate over its future would be many months away.

But political jockeying over separate, bipartisan legislation sponsored by Sens. Jon Kyl, R-Ariz., and Charles Schumer, D-N.Y., appears to have given Hatch the chance to move on the issue much earlier than expected.

The Kyl-Schumer measure would eliminate the need for federal agents seeking secret surveillance warrants to show that a suspect is affiliated with a foreign power or agent, such as a terrorist group. Advocates say the measure would make it easier for agents to go after "lone wolf" terrorists who are not connected to a foreign group.

The proposal was approved unanimously by the Senate Judiciary Committee. But Republicans were upset because several Democrats said that when the measure reaches the Senate floor for a full vote, perhaps this week or later in the month, they plan to offer amendments that would impose tougher restrictions on the use of secret warrants.

I'm sure I'll have more to say about this later but right now I'm pressed for time, so I'll just mention how proud I am that I've publicly hated Orrin Hatch for more than a decade.
posted by timothy on Wednesday, April 09, 2003

Fucking Florida, I swear to god. Apparently, there's a new bill before the Floriduh Legislature that would ban financial aid to students born in countries that support terrorism. From the article:

"The proposal was drafted by state Rep. Dick Kravitz, who said he doesn't like the idea that the United States is educating people who will return to regimes that oppose America."

Leave it to the state that can't fucking vote for a president to completely miss the point and come up with something as retarded as this shit. In addition to being a paranoid and prejudiced law, it doesn't appear to me to solve the problem of educating potential terrorists. But then most congressmen don't have vision beyond fucking their interns this weekend, so I guess I shouldn't be too surprised. Hundred bucks says when Kravitz runs for reelection he cites this as an example of his "battle for homeland security." What a fucking hero.
posted by timothy on Monday, April 07, 2003

Another story that can be found at Yahoo! News. The headline to search for is "Rubber Bullets Used on War Protesters in Oakland." This is both funny and wrong. I mean, I fucking hate protesters, but jesus...
posted by timothy on Monday, April 07, 2003

This is interesting. Go to Yahoo! News. Search for the headline "Nobel peace laureate Elie Wiesel says Iraq war justified." The article is brief, but if nothing else, Mr. Wiesel seems to have a well thought out opinion, which is a refreshing change from the mindless sloganeering and verbal masturbation I hear on a daily basis.
posted by timothy on Monday, April 07, 2003

This is the greatest thing ever.
posted by timothy on Friday, April 04, 2003

God help us, it's Blockhead Porn.
posted by timothy on Thursday, April 03, 2003

orchiectomy n: surgical removal of one or both testicles <- ICK.
posted by timothy on Wednesday, April 02, 2003

Tards. From Tom.
posted by timothy on Tuesday, April 01, 2003

Busy couple weeks. First some old shit. Go to latimes.com and sign up for a free account. Once you've done that search the site for a very excellent story from March 26th called "Cronyism and Rebuilding." I saw Governor Bush speaking on the television yesterday at lunch. He had a message for the people of Iraq (which is really funny because he was talking to the coast guard) that we were on our way to freem them from their oppressors. This is crap. Governor Bush cares slightly less for the people of Iraq than he does for the people of The United States. "We're coming. We're coming to make a fortune rebuilding your cities that we blew to fuck all." Goddammit, just once I'd like one of our leaders to tell the truth. "Well, we've gone in and blown the shit out of those less fortunate than ourselves, and now we're making a pretty little penny building newer, ugly buildings that wouldn't pass code here in america. Not that the american people will ever benefit from that, haw haw." If Bush actually said that, I'd probably vote for him this next time around.
posted by timothy on Tuesday, April 01, 2003