In your lifetime, you'll meet someone who plays an MMORPG for a living.

Tim: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0418068/board/nest/22366648
Tim: hi there
Phil: hi!
Phil: ugh
Phil: that faggot needs to die
Tim: i know
Tim: it gets better here
Tim: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0418068/board/nest/15642407
Phil: haha
Phil: "I'd rather have cancer than watch Police Academy." <---so fucking true
Tim: they argue about that all the way down the page
Phil: oh jesus
Phil: how fucking long
Tim: i'm still reading
Tim: it's hysterical
Phil: hehe
Tim: "2) I don't understand why people hate the PA movies. Sure, they may not be the best movies ever made, but they're defently not the worst either (if we ignore Mission to Moscow)
What is it to hate about these movies?
I believe that if Steve Guttenberg didn't leave the series the last of the series wouldn't have been that bad as they where, so I hope he'll return, but I don't believe he will :-("
Phil: oh my lord
Phil: he has to be joking
Tim: "I'd rather vote for Bush AND watch this movie. I voted for Bush twice before, and watched 7 of these movies before. I'd love to do both again.

'...Beware my power, Green Lantern's Light!'"
Phil: what the fuck
Tim: "Every one of the these movies is just plain fun. I'm sorry."
Phil: oh my lord
Phil: now
Phil: im going to admit to liking these movies...
Phil: ...WHEN I WAS 7
Phil: anyone over the age of 8 that thinks those movies are anything but dog shit needs to have a wrecking ball shoved up their ass
Tim: i had to reply
Tim: "'I'd rather vote for Bush AND watch this movie. I voted for Bush twice before, and watched 7 of these movies before. I'd love to do both again.'

1. thank you for admitting you're an idiot.
2. oh my god, i hate you.
3. you getting cancer would be funnier than the police academy movies.
4. but not as funny as george w. shrub getting cancer.
5. next time you see your parents, beat them for reproducing.

'...obligatory quote to prove i've wasted my life reading comics and watching movies.'"
Phil: hahaha
Tim: god i hate these boards but i can't stop reading them. they're my new favorite form of getting angry
Phil: i know what you mean
Tim: "Since the main cast of the Police Acadmey movies are pretty old right now I suggest that the next film feature those character's sons and daughters enter the Police Acadmey as new cadets. I would love to see as many of the old cast members come back and have them be the instructers as the Academy.

One cast suggestion if George Gaynes doesn't won't too are is unable to come back I suggest Kelsey Grammer, as his son, the new Cmndt. Lassard."
Phil: "One cast suggestion if George Gaynes doesn't won't too are is unable to" What the fuck does that mean
Tim: i know
Phil: i love these idiots
Phil: "I HAVE A GREAT IDEA FOR A MOVIE"
Phil: ITS TWO PEOPLE JUMPING ON A TRAMPOLINE
Phil: AND ONE FALLS OFF
Phil: EXCEPT THE GROUND IS A PIE
Phil: HAHAHA
Tim: hahahaha

The Supreme Court on Thursday ruled that local governments may seize people's homes and businesses - even against their will - for private economic development.

Two employees of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals were arrested on animal cruelty charges in Ahoskie, N.C., after investigators saw dead dogs being thrown into a grocery store garbage container Wednesday, according to the Ahoskie Police Department.

"Ebonics is a different language, it's not slang as many believe,' Texeira said. "For many of these students Ebonics is their language, and it should be considered a foreign language. These students should be taught like other students who speak a foreign language.'

Chevron paid agents who destroyed villages

COMPANY DENIES RESPONSIBILITY FOR NIGERIAN DEATHS OR INJURIES, SAYING IT PAID ONLY FOR GENERAL SECURITY SERVICES

By Elise Ackerman

Mercury News

The bodies of the dead Nigerian villagers had not yet grown cold when the Nigerian navy captain presented Chevron with a bill: 15,000 naira, or $165 for responding to ``attacks from Opia village against security agents.''

Within 24 hours Chevron paid up. It would be years before the San Ramon-based energy company would acknowledge the role it played in the destruction of Opia and another small village called Ikenyan in Nigeria's oil-rich delta in January 1999.

The receipt for the January 4 army raid, which left four villagers dead and nearly 70 missing and presumed dead, came to light only this summer as part of a federal lawsuit filed on behalf of the victims in U.S. District Court in San Francisco. It is being reported first on MercuryNews.com. The receipt also is among documents obtained by the Mercury News.

Chevron has denied any responsibility for the death or injuries that occurred that day. Charles Stewart, a Chevron spokesman, said the payment to the captain reflected ``a longstanding industry practice of paying a small amount for each day'' to military personnel who protected ``the people and the property of the oil companies located in the Niger Delta.''

The appearance of the receipt comes at a delicate moment for Chevron. The second-largest U.S. oil company is trying to drum up support for its $17 billion bid to buy Unocal, an oil-and-gas exploration company headquartered in El Segundo. Unocal shareholders are scheduled to vote on Chevron's bid on Aug. 10.

Chevron's principal rival in the deal was China's government-controlled CNOOC, that nation's third-largest oil producer. One of the top arguments Chevron's lobbyists have used to persuade members of Congress to side with Chevron is China's human rights record.

CNOOC withdrew its $18.4 billion bid for Unocal Corp. today, ending a politically charged takeover battle that highlighted the United States' growing apprehension about the economic rise of the world's largest country.

CNOOC's retreat clears the way for Chevron, the second largest U.S. oil company, to complete its acquisition of Unocal next week, even though its cash-and-stock offer is currently worth nearly $1 billion less.

Still, Chevron's involvement in the events in Africa are crucial, human rights activists say.

``It's important to look at Chevron's own record, '' said Cindy Cohn, legal director for the Electronic Frontier Foundation, one of several law firms representing the plaintiffs.

``It's important to look at the allegations of this lawsuit against the backdrop of violence and communal unrest in Nigeria,'' Stewart countered.

In a motion requesting dismissal of the lawsuit, Chevron initially cited press reports that Opia and Ikenyan had been destroyed by a rival tribe. But company documents later surfaced describing how the attacks had occurred a day after Opia youths had visited a nearby Chevron rig and demanded compensation.

Such demands have been common since the mid-1990s, as tribal communities around the Delta have sought a greater share of oil wealth and compensation for spoiled fishing areas and blighted farm land.

When oil exploration began in the 1950s, residents hoped for an economic bonanza. But the anticipated boom never materialized. Half a century later, the 20 million residents who live in the Niger River Delta continue to eke out a bleak existence while the oil fields surrounding their communities rank among the top producers of high-grade petroleum in the world.

By the late 1990s, demands for economic justice were being met with violence. In 1995 the military government executed Ken Saro-Wiwa, a prominent playwright and activist with the Ogoni tribe, along with eight sympathizers. In May 1998, Nigerian forces attacked about 100 members of the Ilaje tribe who were occupying an offshore oil platform belonging to Chevron's Nigerian subsidiary. Two protesters were killed and two were seriously injured. Later that year, Ijaw youth began holding oil company employees hostage.

In December, Ijaw activists issued ``The Kaiama Declaration,'' which called on all oil companies to stop ``exploration and exploitation'' activities in Ijaw areas of December 30. ``We are tired of gas flaring; oil spillages, blowouts and being labeled saboteurs and terrorists,'' the declaration stated. ``It is a case of preparing the noose for our own hanging.''

To oil company executives the declaration meant one thing: Get out by the end of December -- or else. Chevron began evacuating staff from Ijaw areas and preparing for mayhem.

That set the stage for the Opia violence, to which Chevron has been connected by court records.

It was at this time, when company leaders expected the worst, that youths from Opia, a community of thatched huts along Robin Creek, decided to press their grievances with a local Chevron representative. Months earlier, they had submitted a list of items, including fishing nets, traps, hooks and other materials that had been destroyed by Chevron's tug boats and floating barges.

Attorneys representing surviving villagers say their clients, who live without running water, electricity and newspapers, did not know about the Kaiama Declaration when they set out for the rig on January 3.

The returning residents found the rig deserted, except for guards who told the youths to leave. ``They rushed at them and they started beating them, you know, and they fell into the river,'' Anthony Lawuru, the chairman of the community, testified during a deposition in April 2005.

Back at the village, there was an urgent meeting.

``We'd been having a cordial relationship even with the security men,'' Lawuru said. A delegation that included women and elders decided to return with the youths to the rig the next day in order to demonstrate that the youths had community support.

The next day, the guards greeted the delegation with gunfire.

Shaken, the villagers returned to Opia. Not more than 15 minutes had passed before a blue-and-white helicopter dropped out of the sky. As it hovered above the center of the village, just below the level of the coconut trees, the helicopter door opened and gunfire sprayed out, according to sworn testimony,

``We were running into the bush, we heard the gun as it was going round,'' Lawuru said.

He estimated the fusillade continued 15 to 20 minutes. When villagers emerged from the bush nearly all the houses in the village were burning. Canoes, fishing materials, boats had been shot up and burned. Lawuru's brother lay dead.

There was panic as villagers rushed to pack their canoes and flee. In the confusion, Lawuru recalled, four boats known as ``sea trucks'' arrived, full of men in army uniforms. ``They did not land before they started shooting,'' Lawuru said. ``Then we started running again. Another round of running.''

The soldiers then moved downstream to Ikenyan.

There, the scene was replayed. In a declaration submitted in federal court in San Francisco, John Ikenyan, the son of the village chief, said a helicopter first appeared over the houses. ``I thought maybe that Chevron was coming to see my father again as they had before,'' Ikenyan said. Women and children waved.

A shot was fired from the helicopter and then another.

Villagers fled to the bush. Their homes were set on fire. The villagers returned and struggled to put out the flames. With no fire engine, no hoses and no pumps their efforts were hopeless. The sea trucks arrived. Once again, the villagers ran for the bush. Ikenyan said his father, the chief, stayed behind and was shot by the riverside.

``I later learned that many people had been killed or disappeared or were wounded at both Opia and Ikenyan on January 4,'' Ikenyan said.

According to Human Rights Watch, a total of four bodies were recovered from the two villages. Sixty-eight people were missing and believed dead.

Barbara Enloe Hadsell, an attorney for the villagers said that in addition to paying the security forces, Chevron loaned them the helicopter that was used in the attack. She said Chevron personnel not only accompanied the soldiers as they flew to Robin Creek but also directed the pilot to ``deviate from his course'' to pursue villagers who were ``getting away.''

``That's complete Chevron involvement,'' Hadsell said.

Stewart, the Chevron spokesman, admits that Chevron's Nigerian subsidiary helped transport the military reinforcements to the rig after gunfire was heard on the radio. Stewart also acknowledged that a Nigerian military officer onboard one of the helicopters ``discharged a gun during flight.''

But Stewart said Chevron did not authorize the weapons to be fired and that it occurred when no village was in sight. ``We are confident as the case progresses, Chevron will be vindicated,'' he said.

A jury trial on the villagers' claim is currently scheduled for the fall of 2006 in federal court in San Francisco.

Hillary vs. the Xbox: Game over
Senator, would your probe of video games also take a look at the substantial benefits they can provide?

By Steven Johnson, Steven Johnson's "Everything Bad Is Good For You: How Today's Popular Culture Is Actually Making Us Smarter" was published by Riverhead Books in May.

Dear Sen. Clinton:

I'm writing to commend you for calling for a $90-million study on the effects of video games on children, and in particular the courageous stand you have taken in recent weeks against the notorious "Grand Theft Auto" series.

I'd like to draw your attention to another game whose nonstop violence and hostility has captured the attention of millions of kids - a game that instills aggressive thoughts in the minds of its players, some of whom have gone on to commit real-world acts of violence and sexual assault after playing.

I'm talking, of course, about high school football.

I know a congressional investigation into football won't play so well with those crucial swing voters, but it makes about as much sense as an investigation into the pressing issue that is Xbox and PlayStation 2.

Your current concern is over explicit sex in "Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas." Yet there's not much to investigate, is there? It should get rated appropriately, and that's that. But there's more to your proposed study: You want to examine how video games shape children's values and cognitive development.

Kids have always played games. A hundred years ago they were playing stickball and kick the can; now they're playing "World of Warcraft," "Halo 2" and "Madden 2005." And parents have to drag their kids away from the games to get them to do their algebra homework, but parents have been dragging kids away from whatever the kids were into since the dawn of civilization.

So any sensible investigation into video games must ask the "compared to what" question. If the alternative to playing "Halo 2" is reading "The Portrait of a Lady," then of course "The Portrait of a Lady" is better for you. But it's not as though kids have been reading Henry James for 100 years and then suddenly dropped him for Pokemon.

Another key question: Of all the games that kids play, which ones require the most mental exertion? Parents can play this at home: Try a few rounds of Monopoly or Go Fish with your kids, and see who wins. I suspect most families will find that it's a relatively even match. Then sit down and try to play "Halo 2" with the kids. You'll be lucky if you survive 10 minutes.

The great secret of today's video games that has been lost in the moral panic over "Grand Theft Auto" is how difficult the games have become. That difficulty is not merely a question of hand-eye coordination; most of today's games force kids to learn complex rule systems, master challenging new interfaces, follow dozens of shifting variables in real time and prioritize between multiple objectives.

In short, precisely the sorts of skills that they're going to need in the digital workplace of tomorrow.

Consider this one fascinating trend among teenagers: They're spending less time watching professional sports and more time simulating those sports on Xbox or PlayStation. Now, which activity challenges the mind more - sitting around rooting for the Packers, or managing an entire football franchise through a season of "Madden 2005": calling plays, setting lineups, trading players and negotiating contracts? Which challenges the mind more - zoning out to the lives of fictional characters on a televised soap opera, or actively managing the lives of dozens of virtual characters in a game such as "The Sims"?

On to the issue of aggression, and what causes it in kids, especially teenage boys. Congress should be interested in the facts: The last 10 years have seen the release of many popular violent games, including "Quake" and "Grand Theft Auto"; that period has also seen the most dramatic drop in violent crime in recent memory. According to Duke University's Child Well-Being Index, today's kids are less violent than kids have been at any time since the study began in 1975. Perhaps, Sen. Clinton, your investigation should explore the theory that violent games function as a safety valve, letting children explore their natural aggression without acting it out in the real world.

Many juvenile crimes - such as the carjacking that is so central to "Grand Theft Auto" - are conventionally described as "thrill-seeking" crimes. Isn't it possible that kids no longer need real-world environments to get those thrills, now that the games simulate them so vividly? The national carjacking rate has dropped substantially since "Grand Theft Auto" came out. Isn't it conceivable that the would-be carjackers are now getting their thrills on the screen instead of the street?

Crime statistics are not the only sign that today's gaming generation is doing much better than the generation raised during the last cultural panic - over rock 'n' roll. Math SAT scores have never been higher; verbal scores have been climbing steadily for the last five years; nearly every indicator in the Department of Education study known as the Nation's Report Card is higher now than when the study was implemented in 1971.

By almost every measure, the kids are all right.

Of course, I admit that there's one charge against video games that is a slam dunk. Kids don't get physical exercise when they play a video game, and indeed the rise in obesity among younger people is a serious issue. But, of course, you don't get exercise from doing homework either.