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October 28, 2005

Lyrics to the theme song from Shaft - as written by Chaucer:

Wha be tha blake prevy lawe
That bene wantoun too alle tha feres?
SHAFT!
Ya damne righte!

Wha be tha carl tha riske is hals wolt
Fro is allye leve?
SHAFT!
Konne ye?

Wha be tha carl wha ne wolden flee
Whan peril bene all aboughte?
SHAFT!
Verray!

Alle clepe tha carl ane badde mooder-
SOFTE!
Speken of Shaft bene I.
THAN KONNE ALLES WE!

He be a man konne unnethes
Namo save is mayde konnes im.
JOHN SHAFT!

Click here for the link.
Four Popes Who Died During Sex - Who Knew?

1] Pope Leo VII (936-9) died of a heart attack while having sex.

2] Pope John VII (955-64) was bludgeoned to death by the cuckolded husband of the woman he was having sex with at the time.

3] Pope John XIII (965-72) was also murdered by an irate husband during the act.

4] Pope Paul II (1467-71) allegedly died while being sodomized by a page boy.

Click here for the link to the LJ site where I found this.
Man costumed as feces has case in court to settle

VICTORIA, Canada - Mr. Floatie - a brown, smiling lump of feces - will have to take a break from his environmental concerns Tuesday as he heads to British Columbia Supreme Court.

The costumed crusader for sewage treatment is being challenged by the city of Victoria because of his nomination as a candidate for the position of mayor in the upcoming municipal election.

Mr. Floatie is a high-profile and tireless reminder of Victoria's practice of pumping raw sewage into the Strait of Juan de Fuca.

The man inside the costume, James Skwarok, says the city appears to be taking issue with his candidacy because only real persons can run.

It's an objection he finds moot.

"Of course I'm not a real person, I'm a big piece of poop."

The move by the city to keep Mr. Floatie off the throne of power has left him "beyond bummed out. I was fuming."

Robert Woodland, Victoria administrator, says the law governing municipal elections clearly states that only people can run for a position. And they must do so under their real name.

Woodland says he can personally attest that Mr. Floatie is not a real person.

"He is a costume character."

October 16, 2005

Yay for the Batmobile! The 1960's version, of course. All subsequent versions need to be renamed to the Fagmobile. Two links:

Link 1

Link 2

October 5, 2005

It has to be a sure sign of the end-times when I find myself praising Andy Rooney, but...
I'm not really clear how much a billion dollars is but the United States - our United States - is spending $5.6 billion a month fighting this war in Iraq that we never should have gotten into.

We still have 139,000 soldiers in Iraq today.

Almost 2,000 Americans have died there. For what?

Now we have the hurricanes to pay for. One way our government pays for a lot of things is by borrowing from countries like China.

Another way the government is planning to pay for the war and the hurricane damage is by cutting spending for things like Medicare prescriptions, highway construction, farm payments, AMTRAK, National Public Radio and loans to graduate students. Do these sound like the things you'd like to cut back on to pay for Iraq?

I'll tell you where we ought to start saving: on our bloated military establishment.

We're paying for weapons we'll never use.

No other Country spends the kind of money we spend on our military. Last year Japan spent $42 billion. Italy spent $28 billion, Russia spent only $19 billion. The United States spent $455 billion.

We have 8,000 tanks for example. One Abrams tank costs 150 times as much as a Ford station wagon.

We have more than 10,000 nuclear weapons - enough to destroy all of mankind.

We're spending $200 million a year on bullets alone. That's a lot of target practice. We have 1,155,000 enlisted men and women and 225,000 officers. One officer to tell every five enlisted soldiers what to do. We have 40,000 colonels alone and 870 generals.

We had a great commander in WWII, Dwight Eisenhower. He became President and on leaving the White House in 1961, he said this: "We must guard against the acquisition of unwarranted influence, whether sought or unsought, by the military-industrial complex. The potential for the disastrous rise of misplaced power exists and will persist."

Well, Ike was right. That's just what's happened.

October 4, 2005

Theologian says intelligent design is religion:
HARRISBURG, Pa. - "Intelligent design" is vastly similar to creationism and should be taught as religion, not science, a Catholic theologian testified Friday, on the fifth day of a trial over whether the concept belongs in a public school science curriculum as an alternative to evolution.

Georgetown University theology professor John F. Haught said that while intelligent-design proponents do not explicitly identify God as the creator of life, the concept is "essentially a religious proposition."

"When we have a failure to distinguish science from religion, then confusion will follow," Haught said. "Science and religion cannot logically stand in a competitive relationship with each other."
Someone please buy this man a drink. He's catholic, he'll accept.

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