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Frequently,
much of what is posted to the blog is found from sites like
warrenellis.com,
fark.com, and
various news sites such as
google news
and slashdot.
But nine times out of ten, the best stuff (Best={funniest,
nastiest, sickest, most depraved}) comes from a group of people
I've just now decided to call The Circle Of Evil. These
people are an exceptional brand of Wrong and are some of the
best friends I have in this world. |
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ROB
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Climate/Terrain: |
Any remote |
 |
|
Frequency: |
Unique |
|
Organization: |
Circle Of Evil |
| Activity
Cycle: |
Any |
| Diet: |
Omnivore |
|
Intelligence: |
Exceptional (15-16) |
|
Treasure: |
I, S, T |
|
Alignment: |
Lawful Evil |
| No.
Appearing: |
1 |
| Armor
Class: |
0/2/7 |
|
Movement: |
FL 3 (B) |
| Hit
Dice: |
45-75 hp |
| THAC0: |
11 |
| No. of
Attacks: |
1 |
|
Damage/Attack: |
2-8 |
| Special
Attacks: |
Magic |
| Special
Defenses: |
Anti-Magic |
| Magic
Resistance: |
Nil |
| Size: |
M (4'-6' in diameter) |
| Morale: |
Fanatic (18) |
| XP
Value: |
14,000 |
Rob is the stuff of nightmares. This creature,
also called the
eye tyrant, appears as a large orb dominated by a central
eye and a large toothy maw (that never seems to stop with the
stand up comedy), has several smaller eyes on stalks
sprouting from the top of the orb. Among adventurers, Rob is known as
a deadly adversary. Rob's globular body is supported by
levitation, allowing him to float slowly about as he wills. Rob
is usually a solitary creature but there are reports of him
visiting large communities of his freaky brethren deep
beneath the earth and in the void between the stars. Rob speaks
his own language, understood
by all his kin. In addition, he often speaks the tongue
of Henny Youngman and other evil creatures.
Combat: Rob has different Armor Classes for
different parts of his body. Each of Rob's eyes, including the
central one has a different function. The smaller eyes
are as follows:
1. Charm person (as spell)
2. Annoy person (as spell)
3. Sleep (as spell, but only one target)
4. Telekinesis (250 pound weight)
5. Flesh to stone (as spell, 30-yard range)
6. Disintegrate (20-yard range)
7. Fear (as wand)
8. Slow (as spell, but only a single target)
9. Cause serious aggravation (50-yard range)
10. Death ray (as a death spell, with a single
target, 40-yard range)
The central eye produces an anti-magic ray with a
140-yard range, which covers a 90 degree arc before the
creature. No magic (including the effects of the other eyes)
will function within that area. Spells cast in or passing
through that zone cease to function. Destroyed eyestalks (but
not the central eye) can regenerate at a rate of one lost member
per week.
Habitat/Society: Rob is aggressive
and avaricious, exploiting other races by casting them in low
budget kung-fu skin flicks. This is
because of a xenophobic intolerance that causes
him to hate all creatures not like himself. He makes quite a
bundle in straight to video sales.
Ecology: Rob's core racial hatred may derive
from the nature of his method of reproduction, which seems to produce
identical (or nearly so) individuals with only slight margin for
variation. He may use parthenogenic reproduction to
duplicate himself, and give birth live (no eggs have been
found). His smaller eyes may be used to produce a
potion of levitation, and as such can be sold for 50 gp
each.
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Copyright
2006 TimothyX - Not counting the content stolen from other sites.
Proud member of the Liberal Conspiracy To Ruin America since March 19,
2003. |
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