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Frequently, much of what is posted to the blog is found from sites like warrenellis.com, fark.com, and various news sites such as google news and slashdot.  But nine times out of ten, the best stuff (Best={funniest, nastiest, sickest, most depraved}) comes from a group of people I've just now decided to call The Circle Of Evil.  These people are an exceptional brand of Wrong and are some of the best friends I have in this world.
ELSEWHERE
   365 tomorrows

   Brian Wood
   Fuck The South
   Infinite Matrix
   John Fuckin' Harrelson
   Landover Baptist Church
   Maddox
   MungBeing
   On We
   Patton Oswalt
   Retro Crush
   The Fossil Record
   The Sneeze
   Warren Ellis
   Zailo!

[WEB] COMICS
   A Softer World

   Artbomb.net
   E-Merl.com
   Finder
   Overcompensating
   Nine Planets

TOM
Climate/Terrain: Any subterranean
Frequency: Unique
Organization: Circle Of Evil
Activity Cycle: Any
Diet: Carnivore (brains)
Intelligence: Genius (17-18)
Treasure: S, T,x(B)
Alignment: Lawful Evil
No. Appearing: 1
Armor Class: 5
Movement: 12
Hit Dice: 8+4
THAC0: 11
No. of Attacks: 4
Damage/Attack: 2; see below
Special Attacks: Mind blast, see below
Special Defenses: Magical powers
Magic Resistance: 90%
Size: M (6' tall)
Morale: Champion (15)+special
XP Value: 9,000

Tom is an evil and feared creature of the Underdark; his powers are formidable and he feeds on the brains of any creature he encounters. Using arcane powers, he enslaves or destroys his foes, which include such powerful creatures as drow, kuo-toa, and plan-checkers. Tom stands about 6 feet tall and has hideous skin that glistens with slime. His head resembles an octopus, with white eyes (no pupils are evident) and four tentacles around his mouth, a round, many-toothed orifice like that of an attorney. He has three fingers and a thumb on each hand. He can communicate with any creature via innate telepathy; he has no spoken language, although he often accompanies his thoughts with hissing, and the eager lashing of his tentacles. Tom dresses in flowing robes, often with high, stiff collars, adorned with symbols of death and despair.

Combat: Tom's preferred method of attack is the mind blast, projected in a cone 60 feet long, 5 feet wide at the base, and 20 feet wide at the opposite end. He then tries to grab one or two stunned victims and escape with them. He keeps some victims as slaves and feeds on the brains of the others. When devouring the brain of a stunned victim, he inserts his tentacles into the victim's skull and draws out its brain, killing the victim in one round. If an encounter is going against him, Tom will immediately retreat to his work station, designing and stamping plans to completely fuck up the electricity in his enemy's home.

Habitat/Society: Tom hates sunlight and avoids it when possible, living in underground cities. For amusement, he inflicts pain on his captives and forces slaves to fight in gladiatorial games. He prefers to eat the brains of thinking creatures.

Ecology: Tom will live about 125 years. He is a warm-blooded amphibian, and spent the first 10 years of life as a tadpole, swimming in the elder-brain pool. On more than one occasion, Tom's friends have had to pull him down from the top of a bar, screaming and threatening some asshole who dissed Star Wars. Tom has a Yoda bong and is not afraid to use it.

Copyright © 2006 TimothyX - Not counting the content stolen from other sites.
Proud member of the Liberal Conspiracy To Ruin America since March 19, 2003.