It is 3:30 in the morning. I am sitting at my desk at what had fucking better be a short term temp job. I've had this job for three weeks now and I just got my first paycheck. I want to travel back in time to 1986 and give it to myself just to see the 17 year old me go apeshit over how much fucking money it is. The 17 year old me could buy an entire run of Marvel Team Up with that kinda money.
When I took this job I said to myself, "Well at least it'll buy you the crown you need for that half a tooth in the back of your head." If I don't spend any of the money from the paycheck I just received, I'll be able to buy that crown when I combine it with my next paycheck in two weeks. And after I'm done paying for that crown I'll be able to buy a tank of gas and maybe, if gas prices don't increase too horribly in the next couple weeks, I can buy a burger on top of that. Crowns cost about $800...you can do the rest of the math yourself, I'll just wind up quitting if I spend any more time thinking about it.
So you can see why I'd rather go back twenty years where the money would make every high school dream come true.
The saddest part is that the highlight of my night tonight was taking dictation from a guy named Officer Pinkstaff. I swear to god I'm not joking. There's a guy in this world named Andy Pinkstaff. And he gave me dictation.
If you really loved me, you'd break every bone in my hands the next time you saw me.
When I took this job I said to myself, "Well at least it'll buy you the crown you need for that half a tooth in the back of your head." If I don't spend any of the money from the paycheck I just received, I'll be able to buy that crown when I combine it with my next paycheck in two weeks. And after I'm done paying for that crown I'll be able to buy a tank of gas and maybe, if gas prices don't increase too horribly in the next couple weeks, I can buy a burger on top of that. Crowns cost about $800...you can do the rest of the math yourself, I'll just wind up quitting if I spend any more time thinking about it.
So you can see why I'd rather go back twenty years where the money would make every high school dream come true.
The saddest part is that the highlight of my night tonight was taking dictation from a guy named Officer Pinkstaff. I swear to god I'm not joking. There's a guy in this world named Andy Pinkstaff. And he gave me dictation.
If you really loved me, you'd break every bone in my hands the next time you saw me.
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