Scary Stoma Lady
Apparently the speed-talkers in the Oxnard Police Department think that by having me get fingerprinted, that will somehow make me a better transcriptionist. I guess this way, if I ever finally lose it and write, "You're all a bunch of fags," instead of whatever the cop is actually dictating, at least they'll be able to dust the internet for my prints and...
So off I went to US Fingerprinting to volunteer more personal information in yet another database. Have you ever noticed how every business in the security industry has some bullshit patriotic name like US Livescan and Bonding, or All American Fingerprinting? My favorite are companies like Ameritek who put the "Ameri" part of "America" into their business name like that's at all clever or reassuring. There's nothing very reassuring about misspelling the word "tech." I think it'd be funny to start a security firm called East Block Pinko Live Scan and Identification.
So, I'm inside filling out the paperwork for this shit when scary stoma lady comes up to me and motions for me to follow her. I don't want to be cruel or fucked up but aren't stoma people creepy as hell? This particular lady looked like she'd put in the decades of smoking that usually precedes having a gaping hole in the throat. Her complexion made her look like a smoker, almost like her skin had been stained a grayish-yellow by all those fucking cigarettes.
I'm pretty good about dealing with deformities on other people, I can usually maintain enough self control to not stare or be grossed out until later. But man, when you walk up to me with a big gaping hole in your throat, I turn into a four year old and do everything short of actually pointing at you. Jesus Christ, it's a fucking hole in your throat! If I got close enough I could look inside your throat. And then vomit and cry myself to sleep every night for a week. Goddamn that shit is fucked up.
The internet being what it is...this is really one of those times I wish I could have some say in which thoughts are allowed into my head, and which ones aren't...I wonder if there's a fetish site out there devoted to stoma-porn? Just typing that probably earned me a decade in purgatory.
So off I went to US Fingerprinting to volunteer more personal information in yet another database. Have you ever noticed how every business in the security industry has some bullshit patriotic name like US Livescan and Bonding, or All American Fingerprinting? My favorite are companies like Ameritek who put the "Ameri" part of "America" into their business name like that's at all clever or reassuring. There's nothing very reassuring about misspelling the word "tech." I think it'd be funny to start a security firm called East Block Pinko Live Scan and Identification.
So, I'm inside filling out the paperwork for this shit when scary stoma lady comes up to me and motions for me to follow her. I don't want to be cruel or fucked up but aren't stoma people creepy as hell? This particular lady looked like she'd put in the decades of smoking that usually precedes having a gaping hole in the throat. Her complexion made her look like a smoker, almost like her skin had been stained a grayish-yellow by all those fucking cigarettes.
I'm pretty good about dealing with deformities on other people, I can usually maintain enough self control to not stare or be grossed out until later. But man, when you walk up to me with a big gaping hole in your throat, I turn into a four year old and do everything short of actually pointing at you. Jesus Christ, it's a fucking hole in your throat! If I got close enough I could look inside your throat. And then vomit and cry myself to sleep every night for a week. Goddamn that shit is fucked up.
The internet being what it is...this is really one of those times I wish I could have some say in which thoughts are allowed into my head, and which ones aren't...I wonder if there's a fetish site out there devoted to stoma-porn? Just typing that probably earned me a decade in purgatory.
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