On Being A Transcriptionist
I transcribe police reports, as dictated by the officers themselves. About six years prior to working here, I had some unpleasant dealings with the police. In addition, I also had to deal with lawyers, judges, and the various other whorebags in our backward-ass, farce of a legal system. If that last sentence wasn't clue enough, the entire experience left me with a pretty low opinion of our system of justice (And, yes, I do realize it's the best in the world. If I took a dump in the exact shape of Michelangelo's Statue of David, it would still just be nasty poo.), and an unfriendly attitude toward the police. Someday enough time will have passed and I'll want to write about it in detail.
Working here has turned out to be a really good thing in that it's helped me deal with a lot of my problems with cops. I still think a lot of them are assholes, but I've come to realize that, if I were a cop, I'd be one of the biggest assholes on the force and, in light of that, I can no longer allow myself to judge them too harshly. Hell, if I were given a badge and a gun, I'd probably turn into the Murder-Tron 5000*
Also, in the four months that I've been working here, I've learned (or maybe just come to believe) a few things that I feel the need to share:
- Criminals are fucking stupid. Seriously, they're really, really fucking stupid. I've had smarter pets.
- All drugs should be legal. Every last one. I don't care if you want to lick a fucking toad or inject mercury into your retarded fucking eyeball, you should be allowed to do it.
- If not all drugs, then certainly marijuana should be legalized. And we should actively encourage people to smoke marijuana instead of drinking alcohol. Keep in mind, I hate the pot subculture and I fucking despise hippies, but if we're simply talking about which of the two, pot or alcohol, is responsible for more societal ills...its alcohol. Aside from the occasional stoner who likes to get high and collide trains into one another, the only real societal ill you can blame on marijuana is The Grateful Dead and they haven't been a problem for a good long while now.
Seriously, I've written a ton of police reports now and when some asshole beats the shit out of his wife, he's been drinking. When a couple are having a domestic dispute so loud it wakes up the neighbors, one or both of them have been drinking. When there's a random stabbing at a party, the tards involved have been drinking. When there's a traffic collision with a fatality, the responsible driver has been drinking.
Stoners, on the other hand, tend to just giggle a lot and eat Snacky S'mores.
Only shit people benefit from marijuana and other drugs being illegal. Cartels, pushers, smugglers, crooked cops, and a ton of others are all making a killing on the retarded and arbitrary decision to outlaw certain substances over others. If we were smart, we'd legalize marijuana, tax the shit out of it the way we do cigarettes, and double the sentence for any crime committed as a result of ingesting it (which we should also do for alcohol).
*Coming soon from Omni Consumer Products
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