The Fat Bastard Report - Part 3
Alright, it turns out this shit just isn't interesting enough for weekly updates. And if it's not interesting enough for me to write about, it can't be interesting enough to read about. So...monthly I guess.
So, yeah, Edema. Maybe. Honestly, I haven't been to a doctor yet, our health insurance just got activated two days ago. And I have to find a new doctor now since my old one is still practicing medicine in the last century. But the bottom line is the people I know who work with doctors have told me that my ankles are way too swollen and that I'm not drinking enough water. Or, they were, and I wasn't. I went to Sav-On and bought a diuretic called Aqua Ban. I'm supposed to take four a day but I wind up taking only two. And when I take it I have to drink a fuck-ton of water.
I guess there's this formula for how much water you have to drink every day. You take your body weight and halve it. Then turn the pounds into ounces and that's how much water you're supposed to take in on a daily basis. I'm a big goddamn guy and I honestly don't know what I weigh but I do know that at my recent thinnest, I was at about 350. So for the sake of easy math, I'm just pretending that I weigh about 400 pounds. That's 200 ounces of fucking water every day. Six liters. A gallon and a half. Every day.
So I drink a fuck-ton of water and then I take these pills and then I piss. Probably half my fucking day gets eaten up with drinking water and pissing. But when I do it, my ankles are actually normal, which is nice. Still need to see a doctor about it though.
As for the weight loss thing, my pants are finally starting to feel a little looser and one person has even noticed a slight change. Still not getting enough exercise in, but otherwise, I'd call that real (slow) progress.
I'd write more but I gotta take a piss. Until next time...
So, yeah, Edema. Maybe. Honestly, I haven't been to a doctor yet, our health insurance just got activated two days ago. And I have to find a new doctor now since my old one is still practicing medicine in the last century. But the bottom line is the people I know who work with doctors have told me that my ankles are way too swollen and that I'm not drinking enough water. Or, they were, and I wasn't. I went to Sav-On and bought a diuretic called Aqua Ban. I'm supposed to take four a day but I wind up taking only two. And when I take it I have to drink a fuck-ton of water.
I guess there's this formula for how much water you have to drink every day. You take your body weight and halve it. Then turn the pounds into ounces and that's how much water you're supposed to take in on a daily basis. I'm a big goddamn guy and I honestly don't know what I weigh but I do know that at my recent thinnest, I was at about 350. So for the sake of easy math, I'm just pretending that I weigh about 400 pounds. That's 200 ounces of fucking water every day. Six liters. A gallon and a half. Every day.
So I drink a fuck-ton of water and then I take these pills and then I piss. Probably half my fucking day gets eaten up with drinking water and pissing. But when I do it, my ankles are actually normal, which is nice. Still need to see a doctor about it though.
As for the weight loss thing, my pants are finally starting to feel a little looser and one person has even noticed a slight change. Still not getting enough exercise in, but otherwise, I'd call that real (slow) progress.
I'd write more but I gotta take a piss. Until next time...
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