Little CEO's...More Assholes
Along the same line of thought as the previous post, another group of assholes that annoy the shit out of me are the small business owners who don't realize they're supposed to be better than the evil fucks who run Corporate America. For that matter, the evil fucks who run Corporate America also annoy the shit out of me, but they're supposed to; they're evil fucks, that's what they do. When I make a purchase from AM/PM or Carl's Jr., or Del Taco, I'm basically saying, "Go ahead and fuck me. You're an evil piece of shit and I know that but I'm in a hurry today and my morals have to take the backseat to my schedule," and when they charge me a $0.65 ATM fee, I have no right to bitch about it.
On the other hand, when I patronize a small business, it's supposed to be a different game. But the fuck-holes who own and operate the Valero Station down the street from my apartment haven't figured that out yet. These clown-shoes ass-lickers *refuse* to accept credit cards and have the balls to charge a $1.00 ATM fee. See...here's the thing: If you own a small business and patronizing your business is actually *worse* for me than doing business with Arco...you're a heinous piece of shit and you need to be beaten within an inch of your miserable life with a two-foot-long black dildo. Seriously, fuck you, at least I can't see the faces of the assholes who are stealing my money when I buy gas from Arco.
I was at a Union Station in Sierra Madre the other day and while the truck was filling up, I went inside to get a soda. I took the bottle up to the counter and pulled out my ATM card and the guy looked at me as though he knew he was about to get yelled at and told me they had a five dollar minimum if I wanted to use my ATM card. I told him to fuck off and went back to my truck and stopped pumping gas. Congratulations, douche bags, instead of a $65 dollar fill up, you got $13 dollars out of me. Way to go. And hey, I understand that there's a fee you get charged whenever people use their ATM cards. Really, I get that. But that fee is less than a fucking dollar and you're telling me I have to spend at least five before you'll let me pay with my ATM card? That's not passing the cost on to the customer, that's fucking greed and you need to be beaten within an inch of your miserable life with a two-foot-long black dildo.
For two years, I worked next to a breakfast and lunch place called the J&R Deli in Ontario, CA. The testicle-shitting jack-off who owned the place charged a $0.50 ATM fee and kept jacking the price of his drinks up by a dime every four months. The last time I was there I asked for a large drink and he told me it was gonna be $1.95. I told him to fuck off and walked out as he yelled after me that the price of his Styrofoam cups got raised. No they fucking didn't, he was a jack-off running a jack-off little business, who tried to pad his income by charging bullshit ATM fees and unreasonably high prices for his product.
To these three fucktards and every loser just like them, I say the following: I want to support small business. Corporate America can go fuck itself and I'd rather not do business with them, but you have to bring something to the table. The fact that you're small isn't enough reason to do business with you. You're supposed to make stimulating the local economy a rewarding experience. Most of the time the big guys have better prices than you do and you're supposed to make up for that fact by providing superior customer service or a better shopping experience or by just having your shit together. If I deliberately don't fill my tank at an Arco Station in favor of shopping at your family-owned "Gas & Sip," you're not supposed to fuck me in the ass just like Arco would.
Goddammit...
You people need to wake up to the fact that when you fuck your customers over just like the big guys do you're no longer small business owners. You're fucking sharks, just like the corporate pieces of shit who run Arco and all the other oil companies. The only difference between you and them is that you do business on a street corner and make tens of thousands of dollars every year, while they do business all over the world and makes tens of billions of dollars every year. In other words, by big business standards - the standards by which you run your business - you're failures.
Which is exactly what you deserve you fucking turd gobblers.
On the other hand, when I patronize a small business, it's supposed to be a different game. But the fuck-holes who own and operate the Valero Station down the street from my apartment haven't figured that out yet. These clown-shoes ass-lickers *refuse* to accept credit cards and have the balls to charge a $1.00 ATM fee. See...here's the thing: If you own a small business and patronizing your business is actually *worse* for me than doing business with Arco...you're a heinous piece of shit and you need to be beaten within an inch of your miserable life with a two-foot-long black dildo. Seriously, fuck you, at least I can't see the faces of the assholes who are stealing my money when I buy gas from Arco.
I was at a Union Station in Sierra Madre the other day and while the truck was filling up, I went inside to get a soda. I took the bottle up to the counter and pulled out my ATM card and the guy looked at me as though he knew he was about to get yelled at and told me they had a five dollar minimum if I wanted to use my ATM card. I told him to fuck off and went back to my truck and stopped pumping gas. Congratulations, douche bags, instead of a $65 dollar fill up, you got $13 dollars out of me. Way to go. And hey, I understand that there's a fee you get charged whenever people use their ATM cards. Really, I get that. But that fee is less than a fucking dollar and you're telling me I have to spend at least five before you'll let me pay with my ATM card? That's not passing the cost on to the customer, that's fucking greed and you need to be beaten within an inch of your miserable life with a two-foot-long black dildo.
For two years, I worked next to a breakfast and lunch place called the J&R Deli in Ontario, CA. The testicle-shitting jack-off who owned the place charged a $0.50 ATM fee and kept jacking the price of his drinks up by a dime every four months. The last time I was there I asked for a large drink and he told me it was gonna be $1.95. I told him to fuck off and walked out as he yelled after me that the price of his Styrofoam cups got raised. No they fucking didn't, he was a jack-off running a jack-off little business, who tried to pad his income by charging bullshit ATM fees and unreasonably high prices for his product.
To these three fucktards and every loser just like them, I say the following: I want to support small business. Corporate America can go fuck itself and I'd rather not do business with them, but you have to bring something to the table. The fact that you're small isn't enough reason to do business with you. You're supposed to make stimulating the local economy a rewarding experience. Most of the time the big guys have better prices than you do and you're supposed to make up for that fact by providing superior customer service or a better shopping experience or by just having your shit together. If I deliberately don't fill my tank at an Arco Station in favor of shopping at your family-owned "Gas & Sip," you're not supposed to fuck me in the ass just like Arco would.
Goddammit...
You people need to wake up to the fact that when you fuck your customers over just like the big guys do you're no longer small business owners. You're fucking sharks, just like the corporate pieces of shit who run Arco and all the other oil companies. The only difference between you and them is that you do business on a street corner and make tens of thousands of dollars every year, while they do business all over the world and makes tens of billions of dollars every year. In other words, by big business standards - the standards by which you run your business - you're failures.
Which is exactly what you deserve you fucking turd gobblers.
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