Citizen Journalism Can Blow Me

So, apparently there’s a “news” web site I’d never heard of before called the CNM News Network.  I’ve read only one article and I’m too lazy to read another, but based solely on the one article I did read, they’re staffed by either children or morons.  A quick Google search brought me to their Twitter page (…), which has the following short bio:

We are a group of citizen journalists that strive to keep you informed on all that is going on in the world.

The problem with citizen journalists, of course, is that they aren’t actual journalists and are, more often than not, just bloggers.  I could change the name of this site to the TXN Media Network and call myself a journalist but in the world that exists outside the boundaries of my imagination, I’m still just some guy without any training, credentials, or accountability.  For example, I am 100% positive that Sarah Palin eats children and saying so here will never cost me my job and I’ll never have to print any sort of retraction for writing such a blatant and obvious lie (even though I’m positive I’m telling the truth).

Anyway, the article I read was regarding the television show HEROES being canceled after three consecutive seasons of dog shit.  The second paragraph is the reason I’m writing about this shit:

Even though Heroes is cancelled (sic), there are still a few options that those involved with the show could consider.  For instance, a feature film which wraps up the story of the Heroes and brings back the balance they are trying to receive would likely be successful with die-hard fans.  The show is also the perfect type of show that would work as a graphical novel.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down there, Skipper.  A graphical novel about super heroes?  Isn’t that jumping the gun a little bit?  Wouldn’t it be a better idea to see if people would actually pay for a graphical novel about characters who are a little more mainstream?  Like maybe a medical drama?  Or like a LAW & ORDER graphical novel?

Also, die-hard HEROES fans aren’t exactly famous for their taste in entertainment.  You could have a movie that was two hours of Sylar crying about his parents not loving him enough as long as the cheerleader is right next to him jumping rope in a bikini.  Need proof of this?  Look at the comment thread below the article:

Heroes is my FAVORITE show of all time. To cancel it like is a tragedy. I will not forgive NBC for this action and will boycott the network. I hope that someone picks this show up and finishes it or continues with it. NBC you guys SUCK!

Hysterical.  Just to offer up some contrast, if you’d like to see a bit of blogging citizen journalism that does a good job of reporting the same story, go here.

Anyway, congrats to CNM for having the courage to target a news site at the high school dropout demographic, that is not a chance most organizations would be willing to take.  Keep blazing that trail, fucktards!


Tim Hatch lives in a secret volcano headquarters somewhere in the South Pacific, where he controls the world economy and writes confessional poetry about his disappointing childhood.

His poetry has been published in MungBeing, East Jasmine Review, The Pacific Review, The Vehicle, Touch: The Journal Of Healing, Apeiron Review, and he is the recipient of the 2014 Felix Valdez Award.

He finds writing about himself in the third person to be an overtly seductive invitation to tell lies.

He once captured a French Eagle at Talavera.

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