Grinder Haven

Had lunch at a place called Grinder Haven today.  I hadn’t eaten there in close to…seven or eight years I guess.  I used to eat there all the time with my friend Chris, but it’s rare that I get to Ontario these days so it’s been a while.  Today, I just decided to drive along Holt Blvd. until I found something that looked like it would actually be good (as opposed to fast or cheap) and it just so happens I wasn’t inspired to stop until I came upon “Grinders” as we used to call it.

Almost 2pm and there were still people in line ordering their lunch – Good Sign.
They now take credit and debit cards – Mildly Unsettling.
They now offer burritos on their menu – Bad Sign.

Not sure, if this was going to be as good an experience as it used to be, I decided to order the usual and see if it lived up to my memory.  So when I got up to the window I ordered a large cold cut combo, an order of fries, and a large Diet Coke (just for the taste of it!).  11 bucks (only up a couple bucks in eight years…not too bad, really) and five minutes later, I had my lunch in front of me.

Best sandwich I’ve had in eight years.  No contest.  They’re now seasoning their fries with Lawry’s Seasoned Salt or something terribly similar, which I wholly object to.  But the fries were too much anyway (I used to split them with Chris).  The sandwich was the best.  Holy crap, it was great!  And huge.  It was a great big 12 inch cock of a sandwich.  And it satisfied my hungry vagina (I’m really hoping they’ll use this endorsement in future advertising…).

I’m compelled to stop typing after that last sentence.

About

Tim Hatch lives in a secret volcano headquarters somewhere in the South Pacific, where he controls the world economy and writes confessional poetry about his disappointing childhood.

His poetry has been published in MungBeing, East Jasmine Review, The Pacific Review, The Vehicle, Touch: The Journal Of Healing, Apeiron Review, and he is the recipient of the 2014 Felix Valdez Award.

He finds writing about himself in the third person to be an overtly seductive invitation to tell lies.

He once captured a French Eagle at Talavera.

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