I Think We're Devolving

I went home to grab lunch today and while I was eating, I turned on the TV since there wasn’t time for anything else.  So I’m watching Giada De Laurentiis prepare something wonderful that I’ll never have time to make myself and it cuts to a commercial with some idiot tasting Prego.  The voice over starts with, “Even Silver Medalist Blahblah McWhatevergirl can’t think of a single thing to add to Prego Spaghetti Sauce that would improve it…” and then I turned off the TV.

Like, yeah, that’s why she’s a silver medalist.  If she were a gold medalist, she’d be coming up with shit right and left because Prego fucking sucks.  If only all of life’s mysteries were this easily solved.  We’d know the truth behind Kennedy’s assassination, what happened at Roanoke, how Bush stole the 2000 election…we’d know fucking everything.

I’m tired of living in a society that caters to the stupid and the mediocre.


Tim Hatch lives in a secret volcano headquarters somewhere in the South Pacific, where he controls the world economy and writes confessional poetry about his disappointing childhood.

His poetry has been published in MungBeing, East Jasmine Review, The Pacific Review, The Vehicle, Touch: The Journal Of Healing, Apeiron Review, and he is the recipient of the 2014 Felix Valdez Award.

He finds writing about himself in the third person to be an overtly seductive invitation to tell lies.

He once captured a French Eagle at Talavera.

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