Jackie Earle Haley

I saw Watchmen on Sunday and couldn’t believe how goddamn good it was.  I’d been assuming Hollywood was going to fuck it up from day one (and it seems as though they tried their best and fought director Zack Snyder every step of the way) and could not believe it when I walked out of the theater having actually loved it.  Further proof that great things can happen when accountants just shut the fuck up and let creative people create.

But whatever, I really don’t want to talk about the film or review it because damn near everyone else has already done that over the last four days (I opted to have a weekend instead).  What I do want to say is, “holy fucking shit, where the fuck has Jackie Earle Haley been hiding all these years?”  So, like a million other people have probably done already, I went to his IMDB page and it turns out his comeback started about three years ago after more than 13 years of not being in front of the camera, with a couple movies called Little Children and All The King’s Men (both of which I’m now going to have to find and watch).

This is the same kid who played Kelly in The Bad News Bears, and I can’t believe I’m saying it, but he’s easily the best thing about the movie.  His performance as Rorschach is amazing.  Everyone in the movie is good, but it really seems like Haley knew what a great role he’d been given because he just threw everything he had into it and gave the best performance I’ve ever seen in a comic book movie and, actually, one of the best performances I’ve seen in any movie in recent years.

If Heath Ledger deserved an Oscar for his role as The Joker, Jackie Earle Haley deserves a nomination without question.  I’ll be shocked if he gets it.  At the very least, I hope this movie solidifies his comeback and that he receives the fuck-ton of money and acclaim that he’s earned.

And lastly, I hope this movie makes a ton of money and that Zack Snyder keeps getting handed comic book adaptations.  And I hope beyond hope that the first one they hand him is Preacher.


Tim Hatch lives in a secret volcano headquarters somewhere in the South Pacific, where he controls the world economy and writes confessional poetry about his disappointing childhood.

His poetry has been published in MungBeing, East Jasmine Review, The Pacific Review, The Vehicle, Touch: The Journal Of Healing, Apeiron Review, and he is the recipient of the 2014 Felix Valdez Award.

He finds writing about himself in the third person to be an overtly seductive invitation to tell lies.

He once captured a French Eagle at Talavera.

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