Nightmare Toe

So, this is something I started writing a long while back and apparently gave up on.  Having spent the last week rebuilding this site from scratch, I just ran across it and realized I’d completely forgotten about it.  It was originally titled “The Long, Fairly Disgusting (But Mostly Boring) Story Of My Toe,” but I’ve opted to change that because it has no business being that long.

Fall, 2012 the big toe on my right foot got so dry that it cracked and split open. I didn’t even notice, and it got super infected.  The Urgent Care doctor looked at it and said, “Holy shit!” which did nothing to comfort me.  He then personally walked me across the parking lot to a foot doctor, who looked at it and said, “Holy shit!”  Then he said, “Well, we’ll do our best to save the toe.”

Which, it turns out, is something you really don’t want anyone to say to you.

Bottom line, he saved the toe.  He cut away all the dead skin until all that was left was pink, healthy tissue, and then gave me a shit ton of antibiotics and one of those big, black franken-boots, that immobilizes your foot.  It got better.

It turns out that wearing either Birkenstock sandals or nothing for over a decade is really bad for your feet.  Especially if you have dry skin (I do).  We’re coming up on two years later and my toe is fine but I have rigorous, daily maintenance (mostly that means a lot of lotion and shaving off callus around the toe) that I have to do or it’ll split again.  And, every few months, I go to the foot doctor and they professionally shave down the callus, which is fucking awesome.  Oh and I wear socks and shoes almost every day.

Obviously I’ve provided photographic evidence, but, because I love you, I’ve decided to replace ordinary thumbnails with this adorable anime face just in case you actually possess the willpower to not click through to the nightmare.  Take care of your feet kids, they’re important.

Happy Anime Face For You Make Happy! Happy Anime Face For You Make Happy! Happy Anime Face For You Make Happy!
Happy Anime Face For You Make Happy! Happy Anime Face For You Make Happy! Happy Anime Face For You Make Happy!



Tim Hatch lives in a secret volcano headquarters somewhere in the South Pacific, where he controls the world economy and writes confessional poetry about his disappointing childhood.

His poetry has been published in MungBeing, East Jasmine Review, The Pacific Review, The Vehicle, Touch: The Journal Of Healing, Apeiron Review, and he is the recipient of the 2014 Felix Valdez Award.

He finds writing about himself in the third person to be an overtly seductive invitation to tell lies.

He once captured a French Eagle at Talavera.

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