Open Letter To The Rich

Dear Rich People-
Asking you to pay more taxes than the people who earn / have less money than you do isn’t class warfare.  It’s just asking you to be good Americans with a modicum of concern for your fellow countrymen.

No, class warfare would be:

  • Breaking into your homes in the middle of the night and dragging you and your family, kicking and screaming, out to your front yards.
  • The slow destruction of your testicles with a rubber mallet as you watch your homes burn to the ground.
  • Seizing and liquidating your assets and making you personally hand out 100% of your money to the poor at gunpoint.
  • Sending your children to reeducation camps where they’ll be taught that the responsibility for breaking the chain of selfish douchebaggery now lies squarely on their shoulders.
  • Enlisting you in the Peace Corps and sending you to Liberia, where you’ll spend the rest of your lives working for the poor.

Class warfare would be all that and a shit-ton of other dark thoughts that really shouldn’t be let out of my head (you’ll note that the word “rape” hasn’t been mentioned once, save for this sentence).

No, we’re just asking you to kick in a couple more bucks to help out with shit.  So quit your whining, you avaricious pieces of shit.  Things could be a whole lot worse.




Tim Hatch lives in a secret volcano headquarters somewhere in the South Pacific, where he controls the world economy and writes confessional poetry about his disappointing childhood.

His poetry has been published in MungBeing, East Jasmine Review, The Pacific Review, The Vehicle, Touch: The Journal Of Healing, Apeiron Review, and he is the recipient of the 2014 Felix Valdez Award.

He finds writing about himself in the third person to be an overtly seductive invitation to tell lies.

He once captured a French Eagle at Talavera.

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