I haven’t posted a spam e-mail in years, mostly because they’re just not very clever (or at least, I no longer find them humorous enough to share).  This made me laugh tho:

From:     Veols Goodall
Subject:     Re:
Date:     Mon, 25 Jun 2007 12:09:51 -0330

Hello my friend!

I am ready to kill myself and eat my dog, if medicine prices here (edited because I won’t help the spammers even if they make me laugh) are bad.

Look, the site and call me 1-800 if its wrong..

My dog and I are still alive 🙂


Tim Hatch lives in a secret volcano headquarters somewhere in the South Pacific, where he controls the world economy and writes confessional poetry about his disappointing childhood.

His poetry has been published in MungBeing, East Jasmine Review, The Pacific Review, The Vehicle, Touch: The Journal Of Healing, Apeiron Review, and he is the recipient of the 2014 Felix Valdez Award.

He finds writing about himself in the third person to be an overtly seductive invitation to tell lies.

He once captured a French Eagle at Talavera.

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