Thoughts On Living In A Blue State

Things I’ve either heard or seen in print in regard to how liberal California is:

  • The Left Coast
  • Hollyweird
  • California Crazies
  • Hippy Dippy Buttfucks
  • Bed-Wetting Liberals

Well, to all those clever people and to everyone else who thinks California is filled with liberals and queers, I simply say this:  Blow it out your ass you stupid fucking pricks.  You clearly don’t know a goddamn thing about California.

“Opposite Marriage” was saved from all those icky homosexuals and their homosexual agenda today, as the California Supreme Court upheld the same-sex marriage ban brought about by the voter-approved Proposition 8.

Speaking of “opposite marriage”, I’d like to say a quick word or two about Carrie Prejean:  She’s the perfect representative for the State of California.  Fucking perfect.  Flawless, in fact.  She is a very attractive, undereducated redneck with fake tits and, as such, she is California personified.  To all the homophobes who embraced her into their cause:  You can have her.  To everyone here in California who hated her for speaking her mind:  Shut the fuck up.  She is you and she is me.  She is all of us, as our voting record so clearly indicates.

If you’re really upset by the Supreme Court upholding the same-sex marriage ban, then how about actually showing up to your goddamn polling place next time and fucking voting?  Or, barring that, move somewhere a little more progressive.  Like fucking Iowa.


Tim Hatch lives in a secret volcano headquarters somewhere in the South Pacific, where he controls the world economy and writes confessional poetry about his disappointing childhood.

His poetry has been published in MungBeing, East Jasmine Review, The Pacific Review, The Vehicle, Touch: The Journal Of Healing, Apeiron Review, and he is the recipient of the 2014 Felix Valdez Award.

He finds writing about himself in the third person to be an overtly seductive invitation to tell lies.

He once captured a French Eagle at Talavera.

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